We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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