all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
