omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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