I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
