About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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