help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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