I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
