someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
operation have a gay friend backfired
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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