So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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