I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize