So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
