i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
