We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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