drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
