Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
