Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
