So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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