you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
