Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
