? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
