# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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