Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
