so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
