I wish I could punch you in the face.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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