I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
handjob tips. give me some.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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