i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
