I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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