yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
