Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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