The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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