Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega

Fav 11 2923 971
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(847): View more from Illinois

hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??

Fav 146 1324 5305
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(909): View more from California

Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.

Fav 29 5634 972
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(720): View more from Colorado

Ketchup is God's man juice

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.

Fav 2 1003 3165
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(785): View more from Kansas

Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.

Fav 21 2914 5781
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(845): View more from New York

How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?

Fav 48 1596 7629
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?

Fav 7 485 1243
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(850): View more from Florida

When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.

Fav 0 118 6
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