so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
