then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
