Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
