After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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