"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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