Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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