fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
