were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
