North Korea, Best Korea!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
