She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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