I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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