i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize