like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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