So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
