I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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