Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
