youre lurking in front of me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
