My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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