At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
