By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
