I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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