I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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