The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
