Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
