I'm lost and stupid without you.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
im six kinds of drunk right now
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
