I'm jealous of your bromance
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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