Please, let me fuck your mom
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
