Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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