Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
