When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize