Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dear god my vagina.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
