Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think your dad took our porno
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
