Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
